I think this is from an Op-Ed I read on Sunday (by George Will or Maureen Dowd): "I'd trust Bush with my daughter but Clinton with my job."

Hey, is that team of midgets going to try and tow something lighter that a DC-10 this week? I wish I had a team of midgets I could haul around the country having them try to tow stuff for money.

I think we all have certain phrases that capture the essence of our existence. For example, Spider-Man's is "With great power comes great responsibility."

I've been trying to summarize mine but all I've got so far is "Soda makes me gassy."

I hope that my last words are something really cool. I have this fear I am going to say something really profound, but then follow it up with something really stupid, especially if I am delirious from my pain medication.

"Now come close precious children. Remember, people won't remember the yearly things you do at Christmas. But they'll remember the Christmas things you do all year."

"Why Grandpa, that is beautiful!"

"Hey, I told you morons not to let that cat in here! Ack!"

While listening to an NPR story about the import auto manufacturing industry revitalizing lower Alabama, I realized an irony. Foreign cars (Nissan, Hyundai, Toyota) are now being assembled by people who, traditionally, would adamantly refuse to by one. I wonder if anyone has ever surveyed the employee parking lots to count up the number of rebel flag bumper stickers.

Stress is riding in the passenger seat of a car being driven by a reluctant partial-vegetarian in search of an all-night chicken shack while listening repeatedly to the soundtrack of the Indian version of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

The weather here is great! But now it's getting a little dry. It's so dry that today when I was walking through Central Park I saw a squirrel rubbing moisturizer on its nuts.
-----David Letterman, Joke of the Day Calendar

My descent into hell continues. I watched the re-run of the first two episodes of "Joe Millionaire" last night.

It snowed 7.5 inches in DT Nashville yesterday. Everything ground to a halt. It was amateur hour at its finest.

Last night I dreamed I was out searching for a cell site tower in GA. I scaled a rock wall next to the highway (the fat people with me were amazed) but ended up in the middle of a US Army civilian live-fire training exercise. I tried to stick to the ground and not get shot. I think eventually someone saw me and ceased-fire. I forgot all about finding that cell tower.