Mirror, Mirror

I attended the Friday Chapel service at my daughter's school today. Why? Because she just turned 11, and because it's already the 3rd to last Friday of this school year and I hadn't been to one since January. Thankfully, she is still willing to sit next to her "old man" instead of her classmates.

The theme of today's service was "Mirror, Mirror" and I was surprised to get more out of it than I expected.

The worship leader and scripture reader touched upon several topics that resonated with me but one of the most powerful questions was "Have you ever been afraid to look in the mirror?"

Full disclosure, for some weird reason, I don't look in mirrors or windows or take (many) selfies. This has been an issue for me for as long as I can remember...dating back to middle school.  I believe it has contributed to a crippling sense of self-worth and confidence that has produced impacts in my personal and professional life.

The service continued to warn against the trappings of our superficial society, warning about the pleasures of the flesh and how meaningless things such as outward appearance are to God. The liturgist/guitarist included a rendition of Colbie Callait's song "Try" which, though from a female perspective, perfectly captured the spirit of the service.

The concluding message was that God loves us for ourselves and that maybe we should see inner selves, accept that our flaws are trivial, and truly love ourselves as well. Which is a message that I must take to heart and work on as well, even at my advanced age.

Wednesday morning in Wilmington

I arrived here about 8 last night after a circuitous and exhausting day. One in which I'd planned to drive a rental car from Newpport News to Wilmington only to end up driving my own car frmo Charlotte.

Unable to calm my mind, I was up on Amazon.com looking for the best phone mount to use on the stem of my road bike. A weird obsession given the fact that I'm only 7 days past pretty severe shoulder surgery and am literally 12 weeks away from riding my bike out on the road at all. Such is the troubled mind.

Actually my work related obsession at the moment is to make my own short training videos. These would be for customers and cover simple topics that are often buried under our somewhat ponderous 1 to 2 hour training videos. Besides, knowing how to shoot, edit, and upload short videos is an absolutely critical skill these days. Perhaps I can enlist the help of my 10 year old daughter, as it would be a critical skill for her future as well. We could learn together!

Sunday morning progress update

Kicked off today bright and early at around 5 am after another on/off night. Sleeping about 2 hours at a stretch now. I had to take painkillers (2x5mg Oxy) at 4am because my shoulder was just really aching deep inside the joint. It had been over 18 hours since my last dose though so that was encouraging. I hope to be completely off the Oxy in another day or two...switching to Motrin/Advil if needed.

I did my PT exercises with Elizabeth's help. Theyre not much right now, merely 15-20 degrees of external rotation at 90degree elbow followed by 90degrees of anterior lateral raise at 180 extension. Then I did several minutes of light stretching movements along with my shoulder blade shrugs.

Elizabeth replaced my 5 standard bandaids with water proof versions so I could take a shower. She found the site of the incisions quite revolting, which I don't really understand...it's just pinched and stitched skin. Afterwards, I was able to easily take my first shower since Tuesday, although I could only wash my body and hair with my left hand. I kept wondering how much luckier I am than those veterans who lost limbs traumatically and have to deal with the aftermath of such losses for the rest of their lives. I really DO have so much to be grateful for and SO LITTLE to complain about.

I'm still super motivated to get my fitness back now. I WANT to become fit again to the point of being able to compete at a high level in strength and endurance events. I want to do cross fit, to lift heavy weights, to be ripped, to complete obstacle races and marathons again. I want my active life back! These are where my friends are and I miss having a support group. I want it back!